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What is Your Approval Rating?

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Have you ever been troubled by living in a place where someone was a “door-slammer?”  I don’t mean just a casual heavy-handed, “i just don’t know my own strength,” door-slamming type, but rather the “you (and everyone else within earshot) needs to know and FEEL that i am disturbed, distressed, displeased and/or dis-eased by something or someone,” kinda artistic door-slammer.  Swinging doors, sliding doors, pocket doors, screen doors, refrigerator doors, microwave doors, oven doors, stuck doors, creaking doors. cupboard doors, indoors, outdoors they play them all. They generally don’t limit their artistic medium for expression to doors, either.  You’ve got drawers and dishes, pots and pans, staples and starches, or fruits in cans.

Their performances are not one-night engagements or limited runs.  The true devotees of their craft are able to contrive the motivation from the most mundane and slight.  They need no script, Director’s prodding or even audience delight.  The truly gifted are even able to elevate paper-tearing to the level of a revered discipline.  The drama can be vividly felt in full Dolby Digital Surround EX.  George Lucas would be astounded and proud.  You may find yourself ducking in your seat (any seat in the house is a good one) as the 3-D invisible images fly at you from every angle.  Political correctness be damned, the tension in the scenarios played out are reminiscent of the best of the Administration’s Enhanced Interrogation Techniques.  The choice between this horror or water-boarding is almost no choice, at all.  Passersby, as well as those trapped in the fantastic ornamentation are reticent to speak, move or even breathe.  Then one day, there are two … and the dueling doors begin … but, that’s another sordid story for another sorrowing page.

Today, you must ask yourself, “Why does this bother me, at all?”  It was in that pondering’s reflection that i found a depth of yearning and loving that i would have heretofore denied plausible or even possible.  It is often to our emotional, spiritual and LIFE detriment that we hold the thoughts and concerns of others’ feelings, beliefs and happiness in such awe that we inadvertently begin to live quiet lives of desperation, seeking for those fleeting signs (actions) of love, admiration, approval.  Many of you will not admit to it, but you base much of your thoughts, feelings and actions on the day-to-day opinion poll of your “Approval Rating.”

My answer to that profound query proved longer and deeper than i had ever considered.  I loved my partner.  I wanted her to be happy.  I wanted to be responsible for that happiness.  I wanted to be liked and appreciated.  I wanted to have harmonious and joyous interactions.  I wanted to have great, guilt-free sex.  I wanted to live in a place of relaxation and tranquility.  I wanted the whimsy and thrill of romance.  I had started to believe my press clippings (the things others say to you to induce you to perform along certain lines that they feel will bring them joy) i.e., “you’re the greatest, all i need is you, you are my world, i can’t see what my life would be like without you, you’re everything i’ve ever prayed for, … yahdah, yahdah, yah.”  The physical slamming of a door, any door or any thing else was not the true irritant.  It was rather, that i was being judged and rated (in my own mind) by the object of my affection, with each heart-stopping slam, horrific paper rip or mind-numbing pregnant pause (we didn’t talk about those, did we?).  I was allowing myself to be devalued by the imaginary polls, that didn’t even work to accomplish the afore-mentioned hopes, when they were ‘up’ or my numbers high.

Loving YOU should be a daily, selfish indulgence.  Your joy must be the preeminent cause du jour.  Quite often, the actions of such decadent revelry will take on visual appearances that others may believe to be the inciting of plummeting rose-petalsnumbers in your Approval Rating, poll of polls.  To this we emphatically reply “SO WHAT!?!”  Why should actions that you cannot control (small or large, real or imagined) dictate to you your current or future thoughts or actions, especially those which do not make you feel good?  Either a) they don’t know you, at all or b) they wouldn’t like the real YOU if they did or c) YOU don’t know or love YOU or them enough to present yourself from your purest, unadulterated form which is that of supreme joy and joyous yearnings … Happy.  Maybe, d) All of the Above.

So, great.  Now that we’ve got that whole annoyance thing sorted out, we can get about the business of Living In Full Enjoyment (LIFE).  We can release ourselves to Dream Big … Live Bigger.  We can envelope ourselves in the goodness that is our birthright and invite all those we love to come inside, to experience the YOU that everyone would love to know.  Your Approval Ratings are certain to soar.  The fix is in, YOU are the only and best judge!

Wishing for you Abundant LIFE!

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