Flava of the Feminine Persuasion, dedicated to the “flo.”

Relax. Relate. Release.


I find myself lately becoming agitated at the brazen disregard for the safety and security of a most precious piece of cargo … ME!  The irritation never lasts more than 5 minutes, which i would proffer is 4 minutes and 30 seconds too long.  But i am still not without my human emotions.

For instance, i was a passenger in a vehicle of co-workers and the driver, not paying any attention to what is going on outside the vehicle, ran a red light doing a good 40 mph on a slightly wet street.  In the first instance that i became aware (which was before the driver became aware) that the light was red and there were no signs that the driver was going to slow down, i calmly stated that a stop for oncoming traffic would be appropriate.  The then knee-jerk reaction was to slam on the brakes and the vehicle hydroplane.  i asked 2 questions after the vehicle was safely pulled over to the side of the road: Is everyone alright? and Was it really that important to find the radio station while driving?  Once we were safely back on the road, i grabbed my mp3 player and plugged my ears then grabbed a blanket and covered my head for the remainder of the 2 hour trip.

In my “under cover” reflection, i was reminded of an episode of “A Different World” from the late 80s where the character Whitley went to see a psychiatrist for a problem and was told that whenever she feels that pinned-up feeling of rage or frustration to recite, “Relax, Relate, Release” over and over.  I must have repeated that phrase at least 40 times before succumbing to sleep.

So when the troubles, happenstances, pitfalls, hindrances, stumbling blocks and setbacks come our way, RELAX!  Take a deep cleansing breath.  If you are able to do that, then the rest of the situation will work itself out.  If you can’t take a breath, then your probably dead and more than likely not reading this retort.

RELATE!  Find a good feeling thought and stay affixed to it.  The thought of that thing will surely make whatever you are going through in that moment seem small.

RELEASE!  Let the situation go!  After taking that breath and breathing new life into your circumstances and underscoring it with a wonderful feeling of something that brings you joy and peace, then nothing else really matters.  Energy flows where attention goes.  Put your attention on happiness and joy, peace and prosperity, love and desire.  Allow the wave of those good feelings to transport you to your calm and quiet place of being alive in the present.

Free your mind and the rest will surely follow.



I stood and just watched the people around me.  I soaked in the atmosphere and my surroundings.  Then I was jolted from my dreamland by someone yelling down the aisle to greet someone else in his view.  At first I shook my head in disgust.  Why do some people have to be so (dare I say) “ghetto?”  Where is their class, tact and decorum?  I possess these qualities  so everyone else in the world should embody those same ethics, right?  Well, if left up to me (and this is just my humble opinion), yelling would be abolished.  Possibly because it is a peeve of mine, but moreover, it’s tacky (IMHO).  The yeller was about 10 feet from the yellee.  Couldn’t he just have waved or nodded his head to acknowledge the other person? Why was yelling “What’s up man” the appropriate thing to do?  I submit that this was usual and customary behavior to the person yeller.  To him, there was no offense made to others.  He was living under the impression that yelling to greet another person was OK.  And guess what?  It is.

Just because I choose not to do a thing does not negate someone else that does choose to do that thing.  It is there way of EXPRESSION.  There is no right or wrong way to express yourself.  Some do it quietly and allow a piano, a paintbrush or clay to say the things that words cannot convey.  Some do it in a mezzo-soprano octave that move others to tears.  And some people have boisterous voices that seem excessively loud to others but might be normal to their own ears.  Our means of expression is just that … OURS!!  We have the freedom to constructively express ourselves in the manner that we each see fit.  We are also free from judgment from others.  If it feels good, then it’s all good.

Do your YOU to the fullest!


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The Different Difference


1.        not alike in character or quality; differing; dissimilar

2. not identical; separate or distinct
3. various; several
4. not ordinary; unusual.

*definition according to Dictionary.com

Today I choose to be different.  Not better, different.  There is no measurable ruler that says that i have attained different.  The concept of whether you are doing or have done different is all about self-policing.  No one can say that you have not done enough different to say that you have not achieved it.  Some things can be visibly seen by others and other things cannot.  If you feel different about yourself, then you have done different.  If you feel different about another being, then you have done different.  If you decided to eat a salad at the restaurant rather than fries, you have done different.   No one can tell you when you have succeeded or failed to be different.

So, do or be something different today than you did or were, yesterday.  The quest for different is a journey that is uniquely yours.

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Be Careful What You Ask For

Order Up!

The universe always gives you exactly what you ask for. Each fulfillment is neither positive nor negative, the desires that you put into the universe will come to fruition at some point in your life.  It is an inescapable fact.  It is a law and we all know that there is no outrunning the law. There is no time limit on your requests and you would be rather silly to expect that your request would be filled on a particular day and time. I once heard that “a goal is a dream with a deadline.” So if the universe always answers our requests YES and there is no limit to what we can get, why don’t we dream bigger than we do? Why don’t we ask for the moon and expect it to be handed to us? What is it about not having what we really want that keeps us satiated? i would submit that it is FEAR. But you should not let that stop you.

Just as you order from your favorite restaurant and have to wait for it to come to you, you likewise must wait for the universe to bring you that which was ordered. If it is a new car that you desire, place that order into the universe and wait for the little bell to ding stating that your “order’s up.” If you desire the right person in your life, state emphatically what you want and wait for that person to be delivered to you. When you feel that you need a change in life and you aren’t sure which way to go, just be specific enough about wanting to do something differently and the universe will bring about a new opportunity that will skyrocket you onto your next course. If you continue to worry, whether consciously or not, you will get more things to worry about. When you emit hatred and dissension, you will get more things to hate and disagree with.

So, good or bad, what you reap is what you sow. You don’t have to be intentional in your request, but the things that you think about will come to light in one form or another. So be careful what you ask for, you will always get it.

Stay tuned to learn what “waiting” really is!

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Mindful Appreciation

smileIt is never the big things that show people that you care. It is always the smiles, touches, hugs and thank you’s that make the biggest impact.   Stay mindful of the small actions of love and appreciation, then each day will be filled with success.

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Change Affirmation

i create the reality that i desire to have with the incalculable power of my mind and will.

The Downside of Happiness

bright sun over ocean image

i have been receiving feedback from people about my always sunny disposition and outlook. It has been said that i am “masking” my true feelings and not willing to own up to what i am really going through. For the many who feel that i, and the people around me, should be miserable, why? If we should not be miserable then, at the very least, they want us to be melancholy and not happy ALL the time. So i sit here and ponder what the downside to happiness is.

OK. We have all been through something. How we come out on the other side of that something is completely up to that individual. One could either wallow in the gloom and despair of the situation or find the blessing and the lesson of the event and keep moving on to the invariable next thing. From the station that i sit , those are the ONLY two options that one has. Sure you could probably find other ways of handling it, but at the end of the day you chose the do something about it. You chose to find the positive, the upside, and move forward. Does making that choice every time mean that you are “masking” the situation? i submit that you are not. In your own way you are dealing and coping with what life brings, good or bad. Moreover, you are doing what needs to be done to make your life and the lives of those around you better. Bottom line, you are choosing to find happiness. You can’t have a TESTimony without a TEST.

Do you think Warren Buffett was lying on the floor kicking and screaming, throwing a tantrum when his company, Berkshire Hathaway, lost over a billion dollars last year? Uh, no. He just moved on to the next thing and found a way to turn a profit somewhere else. He took that negative (and a billion dollars to Warren Buffet is probably the equivalent of $20 to those of us that don’t have a billion dollars right now) and moved on. He MIGHT have had a moment where he yelled at the CEO of Berkshire, but the moment swiftly passed and he was on his jet to acquire another billion dollar company. No one would ever say that Warren Buffett was “masking” his true feelings.

The way Warren handles himself is similar to the way i handle situations in my life. There are a lot of things that i could be doing. i could choose to focus on the negative aspects. But i have a hectic life that dictates that i cannot stop for every single thing that goes awry. i gotta keep it moving. My decision to look for the lesson and blessing in the moment always brings about a positive resolve. ALWAYS!

So, for the naysayers and ne’erdowells, chill on analyzing my life and the way i choose to handle it. i am not hurting anyone else and never will i hurt myself. I’m just doing me.

And that’s that piece.